Parents of children diagnosed with autism often feel alone as they search desperately for explanations, guidance, and, deep down, hope.
But autism doesn’t have to be a lonely, confusing journey.
Dragonfly: A Daughter’s Emergence From Autism . . . A Practical Guide for Parents responds to these needs with stories and solutions that offer a realistic picture of possibilities. Combining memoir with tangible evidence and advice, I try, in Dragonfly, to serve as a trusted companion empowering parents to become staunch advocates for their children.
In anticipation of the book’s release, I want to share how the book originated and reveal some of its special features, which will help parents immensely as Dragonfly finds its way into the parents’ hands who need it the most.
If you’re reading this post and believe that sharing it will resonate with others to inspire awareness, acceptance, and hope, please do. I’d like parents of children with special needs to feel they’ve gained a mentor, a coach, and . . . a friend.
Dragonfly’s Origin
Over a decade ago, my daughter, Hannah (at eighteen months), was diagnosed with autism. I visited a local bookstore desperate to find a book that described what our family’s journey with autism would be like. I also needed to know that the shock, utter confusion, and grief I was feeling was normal. Books have always been of great comfort for me. And at this time in my family’s life, we weren’t comfortable at all with the challenges ahead.
The Book I Needed Didn’t Exist
I also yearned for a book that would educate me on all I needed to know to advocate for the little girl in front of me who would hopefully one day call me “Mom.” I needed to learn about all of the available therapies, familiarize myself with sensory processing disorder, and try to make sense of the medical jargon that was being tossed around by various professionals.
In short, I was looking for a book that described the challenges we were facing with our daughter: no babbling, a failure to thrive, not walking, lack of eye contact, continual hand flapping, touch sensitivity, perseveration on certain objects, not looking when name was called, and more. I didn’t just need answers. I needed hope.
Plus, I felt alone.
Unfortunately, the book I needed didn’t exist. That was disheartening. Later, after discovering a special needs publishing catalog, I found a fictional book about a woman that had a daughter with autism; however, the child was twelve years older than Hannah and their challenges were different. Yet, during the time I spent reading that book, I felt less alone. That helped a little.
Research to Unearth Answers
For more than a decade I have been doing my own research, attending more workshops, conventions, and fairs than I care to admit, speaking with professionals in the field, and using a plethora of interventions and supports with my daughter to encourage her to be as independent as possible.
Three years ago I was fortunate enough to secure a grant that would allow me to tell about our family’s journey. I wanted to create a literary archive so my two children would know about our family’s beginning.
The plastic storage tubs located in our office were filled to the brim with resources on autism, doctors’ notes, therapy notes, PECS (Picture Exchange Communication System) cards, sensory tools, orthotics, and more. I would not be able to toss or donate the items without having a record of them. I felt compelled to preserve the story of what our family had gone through by means of anecdotes and documentation. I was able to complete the draft within the year required of the grant.
Write “That Book”
Then, one Sunday before New Year’s Eve, our pastor asked the congregation, “What are you doing with what you’ve got?” Around the same time, I had shown my manuscript to book coach Ann Kroeker to inquire as to whether or not I should publish? Shortly after both of those events, I decided that what I truly needed to do was to write “that book” I never could find at the bookstore—I would offer to the world and to other confused and frightened parents the resources I lacked in those early stages of helping Hannah.
And Dragonfly was born! Dragonfly is the product of my intense passion to support and encourage parents navigating life’s journey with autism. It’s a parent’s guide to help children with autism maximize their potential.
Dragonfly’s Special Features
I thought through some of the features that would make this book a convenient resource for parents.
Sidebars
First of all, helpful sidebars serve as brief guides for parents looking for answers that address specific concerns. Readers will find easy access useful information spread throughout chapters, such as:
- autism screeners
- early intervention’s benefits
- ways to make a difference for your child
- coping strategies for parents
- caring for siblings’ needs
- useful websites and blogs
- facts and misconceptions
- strategies to foster independence
- tips for holidays and vacations
- educational supports
- ideas for supporting social interactions
- how to encourage friendships
- and much, much more!
Wisdom from the Round Table
Each chapter includes Wisdom from the Round Table, which is advice from parents at various stages of parenting, who have children at different levels on the spectrum.
Their perspectives widen the book’s reach to a broader audience by offering a glimpse into the reader’s future and by representing children whose maximum potential is different from Hannah’s.
This feature was important to me because of the many books I had already read about children with autism, there were only so many similarities that I could relate with. In Dragonfly, I wanted parents to find as many similarities as possible, so they know they aren’t alone with their struggles.
Flashbacks
Flashbacks begin each chapter. These vignettes detail my gradual understanding of autism’s effect on my own family as it unfolded. Throughout the book, you’ll see my evolution from being unaware of my daughter’s autism to an acceptance of her autism and how it makes her precious and like no other child.
Glossary
Parents are bombarded with expert medical and educational jargon used to facilitate conversation in regards to their child on the spectrum; however, the terminology is confusing and autism-specific (not common knowledge).
Understanding this language is essential for a parent to navigate this world of doctors and therapists with greater confidence; therefore, a glossary of terms is provided in the appendices using easily understood semantics.
Foreword
I have learned so much about my daughter from adults on the spectrum who are now using their voice to advocate for the entire autism community. I was honored that bestselling author Jennifer Cook O’Toole agreed to write Dragonfly’s foreword.
An excerpt from her foreword:
Dragonfly is the kind of “keeping it real” story I believe in because Lori knows that “emerging from autism,” isn’t about escaping a life sentence or overcoming a tragedy. It’s triumphing stigma. And ignorance. And judgement. And grief. It’s stepping out of the distorted image the world has of autism, and stepping into the sun. Into the unexpected wonderful that autism can be. She and her work in this book are the embodiment of what I call “relentless positivity.” The kind that chooses to keep going. To be afraid and do it anyway. To inspire by vulnerability as much as credibility.”
Dragonfly’s Multiple Themes
Autism brings complicated challenges to any parent’s life. Readers will find multiple themes running throughout, as I emphasize early intervention, acceptance, and emergence, as your child evolves over time.
Early Intervention
Dragonfly advocates for early intervention. Once parents notice the hallmarks of autism, time is of the essence. The earlier a child receives services, the more pliable the brain to make connections before challenges become even more difficult to overcome.
Acceptance
Dragonfly celebrates an acceptance of autism that I never imagined I could reach. This evolution or transformation is chronicled throughout the book, woven into the story that highlights Hannah’s story.
I thought I could fix or cure Hannah’s autism, but what I found was that I wasn’t allowing my daughter to be herself—and that came at a price. Now the traits that define Hannah’s autism are the qualities I cherish the most about her.
Emergence
That leads to the term “emergence,” used in the subtitle and throughout
the text. Emergence refers to identifying and overcoming some of autism’s challenges that make it difficult to function within our world.
A shared, universal conviction of parents is that we all want the absolute best quality of life for our children, which includes helping individuals with autism become as independent as possible.
The connotation does not at all imply that autism is a dreadful, lurid place that one needs to escape. Nor is Dragonfly offering a cure or fix from autism. I am not suggesting any kind of “recovery” from autism, either.
This book is simply about embracing autism and helping to build the best life possible for our children.
While I don’t want to offer any spoilers, let me say you will find within the first few pages that the inspiration for the image of emerging does not come from me, but from Hannah herself.
Dragonfly speaks to the challenges of a special needs parent while celebrating
how rewarding the journey can be. It will serve as tool for any parent with a child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
I hope every reader experiences the joy and freedom of embracing autism as they discover how to build a life in which each family member is able to reach their maximum potential.
Be sure to check out my debut book, Dragonfly: A Daughter’s Emergence From Autism . . . A Practical Guide for Parents which will resonate with your own family’s journey with autism. Dragonfly can be purchased online on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Target, Walmart, and Skyhorse Publishing, Inc. websites.
I welcome your comments and questions about Dragonfly—just drop them in the comment section below or contact me. Also, subscribe to our new mailing list below for autism resources, the latest blogs, free downloads, and more information about my upcoming release in April.
Take care,
Lori